It has ever been my intention to delineate the Characters, Plots and Metaphorical Language that make up the DNA of every romance novel. Unfortunately the scraps of paper from which to produce this conspectus are scattered willy-nilly like the "indeed"'s in a Stephanie Laurens Regency. It's time for the virtual jotting.

Hero. The ship captain. Generally the wayward son of a noble family. Girl is kidnapped or stowaway or cabin boy with artful disguise. Pirates/Captain of enemy ship may take Girl hostage. There must be a storm or a barrage or cannonballs. Girl probably falls overboard or is injured in storm/barrage and goes into a delirious fever. Either way, the Captain is forced to acknowledge that he Cares.

Hero. The spy. Also a rogue duke or similar. Invariably a history of distinguished and heroic service of king and country. Damned Girl, always putting herself in the line of fire! She will have to redeem herself by ferrying aristocrats to safety or disguising herself as a commoner--Cockney accent recommended.

Marriages. The marriage because Girl has been compromised. Cruel fate! Yet society demands it. The arranged marriage. The marriage of convenience. The surprise marriage with the Hero who was not the Marrying Kind.

Plots. Girl's irresponsible and eccentric father gambles away the estate. The ever-popular governess who wins the heart of the children's doting uncle or widowed father.

Girls. The spirited ex-tomboy grown to ravishing beauty. The persecuted stepdaughter. The debutante who has tired of the ton. The damsel whose carriage has tipped over or is otherwise in flustered distress. The bluestocking who enlightens the irresistible chauvinist. The physically flawed one: spectacles! plumpness! birthmark! limp! jolie-laide! If ever titled, must always be of lower rank than Hero.